“The lunch is ready. All kids quickly settle up or I’m not going to give any food!” Momma shouted from kitchen. She told this was 10th time she called us (I’ve heard for the first time though. All of us were so busy playing after all).
I don’t remember what exactly were we playing. I must have been around 9 year old then and this was a hot summer afternoon, one of those nostalgic summer vacation days when the gang of cousins used to congregate.
Since it was already the time for lunch and momma was already sort of angry having called several times, all of us (Me and 4 cousins) quickly grabbed our plates and parked ourselves around TV
As we began eating, I felt a little uneasy. There was a dirty and strange smell like of poop that I was able to sniff.
I took another long sniff of the air to confirm my nose strings and the smell felt even more, so much more that I wasn’t just able to continue eating.
Having understood what this smell could be, I yelled, “Who farted? I’m eating! That’s nasty”
Soon as I yelled, everyone began to sniff and just felt the same shitty smell. “Gosh this is awful. Please tell Who farted!” I howled again.
everybody started looking each other’s faces, looking with rolling eyes, finding perpetrator in each others.
Everyone, including me, then started accusing the person sitting next, wondering why the smell isn’t fading still.
Of course by this time we were very loud and so momma decided to walk over from kitchen and asked what the heck was going on.
All of us, tried explaining our versions, essentially pointing to the person sitting next that he has farted and that we’re unable to eat because it smells like poop.
Momma stayed quite for a few seconds and then asked… “Have you folks been playing outside”?
All of us almost together said “Yes”.
Momma smiled a little. “Look at your shoes, all of you”.
Wondering what is it, we looked at our shoes and Gosh…!
As we’ve been playing outside and quickly came and sat for lunch, all of us had our shoes on and we all had huge filthy turd on the bottom of our shoes, which was what producing the stink….
So: It was me who realized the smell first, looked around everywhere, made everyone the perpetrator of the story that did not even exist, caused blaims and shout and all that bla, without at all looking at my own shoes .
I mean, quite a drama created for no arms and legs existed.
Pondering over the incidence, I realized that This is what we do in our lives too!
Many times in life, we experience problems and everything seems like it’s someone else’s fault, like all the signs point to someone/something else for our misfortune or “bad luck”.
Think for a moment all the failures you consider you’ve had in life, all the things that are stopping you from achieving/getting that you want…
There’s one thing common in all these – someone or something is always direct or indirect reason to it isn’t it?
-A financial constraint, because you were not born a millionaire’s family.
-Business isn’t progressing, because there’s a horoscope miss-match.
-Breakup, because she wasn’t just right.
-Not getting promotion because boss isn’t good.
-Not accepting his proposal because parents aren’t agreeing.
I can go on and on about examples and they’re everywhere, similar in their own versions with all of us.
Well I say to you today! Before you start blaming someone else or society and whatever excuses we can come up with, let’s take a hard look at ourselves.
No matter what you’re dealing with, Where soever you are right now, whatever difficulties that you’re facing, its no one else but you who is responsible about it.
Ah but hang on. I don’t mean that anything that happened to us is our fault. That’s silly. Sometimes we’re made victims and that is a terrible thing. Sometimes we find ourselves in traumatic or just really crappy feeling situations and that sucks.
I don’t mean that you’re responsible for the actions of others, but what you’re responsible for is how you deal, react and respond to it.
When you smell some shit happening in your life, you’re responsible whether you let it stink, foist the shit on someone else or look at your own shoes and take the plunge to walk the miles, press the flush to clean it up.
Let’s be honest with ourselves, about how we acted, what we did, how much of actual (concrete) efforts we have put in and most importantly lets be honest about what we want from the inner heart, without being scared about judgement/perception of others.
Be it is a troubled past or present, painful breakup, bad boss, petulant husband/boyfriend, unorthodox sexual orientation, physical disability or just whatever else.
We are special and unique because we are beautiful individuals…not because of what we’ve been through. That “stuff” doesn’t define us. We all have our own shit.
No matter what it is, how stinking it is, Its the shit that you have in your life so own it!
Every moment in your life is a choice about how and what you’d like to do about it.
Yes you can’t usually change what others think or do, but you can always choose what you’d like to do.
It all begins to work out when you know your shit and have courage to own it rather putting blaim of what/where you are on to someone/something else, not even yourself!
Take the responsibility of your choices and actions., not because it’ll feell any nicer. In fact It’ll be painful, difficult and challenging, but I ask you to take responsibilities of your choices and action because its remarkably powerful.
Along with the ownership of your shit, what comes as complementary is the power to clean/change.
Finnancial difficulty? Change it!
Having a disempowered relationship? Change it!
Difficult boss? Change it!
I know its easier said than done, but I’ve done it with myself.
You see, It’s easy to be in the rut of massive problems and still pretend that everything is bright and shiny and perfect, that we don’t need anything from anyone because life is grand just as it is…
for me, I cannot live another day without embracing my “stuff,” without owning my shit, because it makes me unauthentic, stucks me and forces to live a mediocre life that I’d never choose for myself.
I say to you once again, let’s be honest with ourselves and dig deep, leave no rock unturned and no shoe unchecked so we can enjoy our lunch and go with the flow!
So? What would you like to do about your shit? I say, own it!