There are times in all of our lives when we are hurt, wronged, mistreated or betrayed. Whether it’s about boss who hasn’t promoted/increased salary despite of you worked day and nights for the company giving your blood and sweat, client who hasn’t paid what they promised for the awesome work that you delivered, girlfriend/boyfriend who left/broke up despite of you’ve done so much for the person, parents/siblings who haven’t given you your share of property, demise of a loved one or simply something just didn’t work out despite of you tried so hard – perhaps more than you thought you could.
When a situation like these occur, all of us feel betrayed, hurt, mistreated and disappointed, and many times even mad, angry, frustrated and upset.
As human, we get ourselves attached with people, things, places, feelings and situation, and if for some reason that has to leave/end/move/go out from our life, the hurt, disillusionment and upset seems obvious. Many times it gets almost impossible to even think about living anymore and the experience is so profound that it negatively impacts a huge part of our life and personality almost irrevocably. We feel as it’s the end of universe, loss of purpose, sense of powerlessness, worthlessness and basically a kind of feeling where the only thing you see is a dead end with no way to return.
So, what to do?
Well, fuck them off!
If you’re like most people, that’s one obvious answer, but it just does not quite give a peace of mind either.
Some get into grief and guilty, blaming their own self, but that just increases the pain further.
Some get angry and start hunting for the opportunity of vengeance which often does not quite satisfy either, especially because the ones who betrayed/wronged/mistreated are your loved ones after all.
What to do when you can’t get them out of head, When you think about them and turn red with anger, when their phone number comes in front of you and
Brings tear drops in your eyes, when she passes by and you don’t know whether to speak or to weep, when you feel like ending everything, leaving everything and just being alone and isolate.
So is there a way to deal with this effectively and powerfully?
What can you do to finally bring happiness, satisfaction and peace into the life?
When someone wrongs, mistreats, hurts or betrays, there are some patterns quite common to all of us as reactions.
It seems obvious and too human to retaliate when someone injures, hurts, wrongs, betrays or mistreats. Abuse, devastation and what not, People gain pleasure sometimes from just planning revenge, even if they never carry it out. While some would claim that revenge gives them the sense of satisfaction, I can tell from my personal experience that if you set a trap for others, you will get caught in it yourself. If you roll a boulder down on others, it will roll back and crush you. Moreover, who would you take the vengeance against? Don’t forget that those are the people you loved and cared about at a time. No matter what you think that they have done, no matter how upset, angry and annoyed that you are on them at the moment, they are the ones who you spent a part of your life with in living, working, loving and caring. Don’t just wash away the ashes of love, its not going to make you any happier anyways.
Many times when we feel we’ve been treated unfairly, unloving or wronged, we have a very powerful internal reaction in the form of resentment. Blames, grudges, silent anger, hatred and bitterness actually takes a whole out of our productive energy that gets wasted in making them wrong than getting the things right. Often the resentment for someone transforms us into a cynical and frustrated individual who then starts looking the world from the spectacle of resentment and doubts. This, from my experience only makes the life worse and closes the doors/possibilities of new opportunities. Choose to give away all your resentments instead, not for them but for the sake of your own, personal happiness.
Self affliction or making your own self wrong is actually just another form of resentment, but it’s just way more powerful and harmful at times. Blaming yourself, Getting in melancholy, acquiring sadness and isolation is the best punishment you can give to yourself. Some believe that by punishing their own self they’re making the other person suffer, which is actually a kind of poison that you take and expect others to die. Funny isn’t it?
Don’t just give them another secret chance to hurt you. Wake up; they’re not going to give you any sympathy for you afflicting yourself. Instead, Stop regretting and be proud that you loved them.
Sometimes, some things happen and we make the goal of our remaining life to prove – our worth, success, richness, smartness, beauty, intelligence, slimness and so on. At times we start believing that by proving them we can somehow make them wrong and that they might regret and get back in realization.
Telling from my personal experiences, proving in the end doesn’t quite bring much value to your life. Instead, it keeps you in a war that doesn’t need to be fought. It keeps you aggressive and ungrateful toward other people in your life. You stick to comparison instead of connection when you try to prove yourself.
Choose to be what you are. If they have to get back to you, it’s not the proofs but your authenticity, love and affection that can inspire them.
Life is too small; don’t waste your time in revenge, resent, self afflictions and proofs. The only person who is responsible for your happiness is no one but yourself. Be kind and generous to yourself, forgive them, love them and love yourself!
Live with no excuses and love with no regrets, just go with the flow and see an amazing life unfolding to you.