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The art of making mistakes

 

Who likes making mistakes? Of course no one, but we all make them.  That’s the point.

What if I tell you that making mistakes is an art and most of us do not know that yet?

Would you believe me if I tell you that making mistakes is an incredibly enriching and powerful Technique that has the capacity to literally transform your life?

Believe it or not, mastering to make mistake is one most powerful technique you can use to make remarkable  transformations in life starting from today.

 

I was about 7-8 years old.  It was a Sunday evening in summer and we were on a family outing (me, my elder brother, mom and dad).

I remember we were going to watch “Chhota Chetan”, which I think was India’s first 3d movie for that matter. Me and my brother were specially excited because a lot of our friends have watched the movie before and were quite impressed with that.

Plan was to watch movie, have dinner, eat icecream and then get back home. Tickets for movie were  booked in advance and where to eat as well was already decided.

We reached theater 10 minutes before the movie show had to start. It was overly crowded and people were complaining that they did not get tickets. Thankfully, dad had booked tickets in advance so we were carefree.

When we reached on the main gate where tickets had to be shown to gatekeeper, we found that tickets were forgotten at home. Both mom and dad were blaming each others for forgetting them, but matter of the fact was that we did not have a single ticket and hence the gatekeeper stopped us just there.

This news was heartbreaking for me and bro as we were already so excited about movie and that suddenly a joyous Sunday evening turned gloomy. All 3 of us including me, bro and mom declared that dad is careless as he did not bring tickets. Considering that there was already so much crowd and tickets were already sold off, not a single ticket could be found out even on black despite of trying.

All of our moods just turned off. A perfect evening just turned into anger, rage, complains and blames. Mom dad were blaming each others for not bringing the tickets and I and bro were simply angry and disappointed. None of us were in the mood to go for dinner and icecream ETC, so we decided to come back home, eat afternoon’s leftover and sleep.

It was One little mistake that messed up all our plans, moods and excitements. Just one little mistake that ruined what could be a perfect family outing.

What  more interesting was that neither of mom and dad were able to decide who’s mistake it actually was.                           While dad was telling mom that she should have kept them in her purse or at least reminded him, mom was telling dad that he should have kept them in pocket himself. Finally it was decided that we would not be going for family outings anymore and the resolution continued at least for next couple years. We literally did not go for any family outing at least for next 2 years since that day.

 

Most of us handle mistakes similarly.

When someone makes mistake, we get angry, we start declaring the person mad/careless and get frustrated. While when we ourselves make mistake, the next thing we do is that we cover that mistake by either of lying, blaming others, justifying, quitting and denying.

This vicious cycle of proving other person wrong and ourselves right leads to quarrels, fights and regrets and just goes on and on and on. The consequence causes us regret and many a times the decision of not doing the same thing over again, such as my parents decided not to go for family outing anymore as a possible solution to avoid fights and hurt.

If we examine it closely, actual mistake simply was that tickets were forgotten at home. However my parents interpreted that going for family outing was a mistake and hence decided not to go for them anymore.

So if forgetting something was actual mistake, that was still not resolved. This means that the consequences like telling lies to cover up, anger, blame, arguments, fights ETC are  sure to repeat when something is forgotten in any next situation what so ever and deciding not to go for family outing was again a mistake.

 

Often, its not the actual mistake that causes adverse impacts, but reactions and protective measures do. Because my parents have decided to avoid family outings as a possible solution to keep away from fights and arguments, this has badly impacted me and my bro as we were not able to go out with family for 2 whole years.

Actual mistake was simple as tickets were forgotten at home. My parents could take that simply and instead of deciding to avoid family outing they could choose to let it go and work towards being more organized as a possible improvement to the mistake of forgetting things.

 

In life, we get ourselves trapped in this very vicious circle. We make one mistake and then make so many more to cover them up. It does get never-ending and only leaves us with defected relationships, trust deficit, business losses, fighting’s/arguments ETC.

Most of us get scared by mistakes because they cause adverse   consequences.  When we make a mistake and experience unpleasantly, the little voice in us directs us to take protective measures, and these cause more undesirable impacts than the actual mistake could cause.  We focus all of our attention and energy in   protective measures than focusing on accepting and improving the actual mistake. This way, we keep continuing with actual mistake and getting same results that are unpleasant and undesirable.

 

There are majorly 5 kinds of reactions that we do when we or other person make a mistake.

Interestingly, how do you react in mistakes determines what kind of personality are you.

  1. The Liar. “I didn’t do that.”
    2. The Blamer. “It’s your fault, not mine.”
    3. The Justifier. “Well, I don’t have a good education so that is why I don’t get ahead.”
    4. The Quitter. “I told you that it would never work.”
    5. The Denier. “No, there is nothing wrong. Things are fine.”

 

If you look into your life and examine how do you react when you or others make mistake, you will find that how do you react is how you are in your life in most situations including personal, professional and other areas.

Being an entrepreneur, I’m always flooded with so many business ideas. I do find a possible business prospect in any given situation and personally I mark this as a strength.

About same time last year me and my colleague saurabh were discussing ideas for next business venture and one of the ideas impressed both of us. Since we found that it has great possibilities, we chosen to start that venture together. We planned out everything for the next few days and documented things such as services to be offered, business logic, marketing strategies, revenue streams, unique selling points ETC.

It was purely an online business, so First thing required was an online platform that shall be front-face for all visitors and clients

We decided to develop the platform by 2 of us and not hire anyone additionally to minimize development cost.

While we started the development with the bang, things began to slow down with time. I was not able to give enough time to the venture and got occupied in other things. Many times, I planned to work and could not convert that in action. Many times I waited for saurabh and blamed him for not being able to take action saying that I could work if saurabh came. Cutting this short, I kept procrastinating the things and could not develop the platform even after 10 months passed. Each time I procrastinated, I had my own justifications such as shortage of time, internet issues, low energy, mood swing and saurabh’s unavailability.

There were many occasions when I had the thoughts like: “Choosing to start the venture at this time is mistake as I’m already so occupied”, “starting this with saurabh is my mistake as he is not as determine as I am” ETC.

Just recently, I have realized that lesser determination of my own was the actual mistake and all the rest were just my self-made justifications and not the reality. I was blaming shortage of time, situations, mood swings and saurabh the reason of not being able to complete platform development but it was actually me who has not been taking action that I could take at my part.

About 2 months back I chose  that I would take responsibility and cause launch of the online platform.

Finally , work is done, platform is launched and is already making money online (Only dimes at the moment though).

 

So when I was blaming other people and situations and justifying myself, what I was basically doing was that I was not getting to the actual mistake. I was covering my lack of determination with blames and justification and ultimately causing loss to myself and my business growth.

If I chosen to go with the thoughts I had such as its not the right time or saurabh is not the right person to work with and continued being less determined, I could never start a new business ever and would have been making same circle of mistakes with all the upcoming ideas or I would have decided not to start any venture at all.

 

So, mistakes like blaming, lying and justifying becomes more damaging than forgetting something or being less determine. Lire keeps on telling more lies, justifier keeps on justifying more things and more mistakes and does not even identify the actual root due to fears.

A lot of our problem exist because we do not take action due to fear or mistakes/consequences.

Making mistakes is super important in life. Do not fear/quit or stop making mistakes or you’re surely going to stuck bigtime.

Remember that:

  1. You can’t grow without making mistakes.
  2. You can’t grow without accepting the mistakes you made.
  3. Whatever you want, just go out and do it: Its possible that you find that it went wrong,  but you can’t tell it unless you start doing it.

 

The art of making mistakes is to get out of vicious circle and identify the actual mistake causing the things to repeatedly getting wrong.

Its about taking action without fear of consequences and accepting your own mistakes quickly and sincerely.

Its about taking responsibilities of your own actions, behaviors and mistakes rather blaming other people and situations.

It’s about taking risks and giving 100 percent efforts without worrying about consequences.

It’s about accepting that as human you can make mistakes and that each mistake has possibility to improve upon.

It’s about viewing other’s mistake as it was yours and choosing to let it go than keeping the grudges.

The art of making mistakes is to know your weakness, recognize your strength, accept the things as they come/happen and choose to go with the flow rather over-analyzing, interpreting and story forming.

The best way therefore is to let go that has happened, think about present and seek future possibilities than keeping the grudges, guilt and complains.

Get out of your self-made vicious circle, get fear free,   make as many mistakes as you can, accept your mistakes and enroll yourself about dealing with them, forget other’s mistakes and choose to go with the flow.

Master the art of making mistakes and I’m sure the life shall transform for you as well as others around you!

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