It was 10:00 sharp. Client with whom this meeting cum presentation was to happen had already arrived, waiting for me. As I entered in office and started walking towards the conference room, I somehow felt like the pants around my right upper thigh seeming kind of strangely lose. I ran my hands on the place I was feeling so, and oh no… I found that There was a hole in my pants right on my very upper thigh. It was exactly where you don’t want to get a hole in your pants.
Earth kind of shattered under my feet. This was a client who came all the way from Germany for this to-be-happen deal and I had to present the product to him, but my pants had hole. I didn’t want to give presentation in this state. I wanted to run away.
I was standing baffled in the middle of my cabin and the conference room. I called a colleague. I wanted him to substitute me for this presentation. (Without letting him know the exact reason of course)
“Heyy, man. I’m not feeling well suddenly. Can you stand-in in my place and give the presentation”? I made up.
“Sir, but I’ve not read this presentation ever before and have very little idea about product. Don’t think I can do this right away”, He said.
I had no choice. Client was already waiting and time for the presentation has actually already ticked. I decided to keep this hole a secret, hide from everyone (specially client) and not letting them know, come what may.
I entered in the conference room and immediately sat in the chair (In a posture that the hole remains unseen)
While I would normally give presentation by standing in the middle (or sometimes even walking around the room), that day, I presented sitting in the chair, being conscious all the times that the hole in my pants does not by any chance get visible.
Wuhu!I successfully got the entire presentation done and could keep as well as guard my secret from everyone. It wasn’t my best presentation though. I missed some of the parts. Did not explain as wonderfully as I would otherwise strive for. We lost the deal….
All of us have secrets, things about us that no one else knows.
Sometimes our secrets are pieces of our lives that we haven’t shared yet because it just hasn’t come up or because we don’t know the other person well enough to reveal personal information. Often, however, we keep things secret because it’s risky or embarrassing. We get afraid that if they know the “truth” about us, they’ll think less of us and therefore we do all that we can to hide them – Telling lies, holding back,, being extra conscious, getting angry, and even let go the opportunities in entirety.
Look into your life. Think about the secrets you have and the efforts you’ve done to ensure that they remain secret forever.
Is it the secret about X boyfriend/girlfriend you haven’t told to your spouse? Is this about a business loss that you haven’t told anyone? Is this the secret love you feel for that guy and you never made him know?
Think about the various efforts you have made to hide the secrets. The lies you might have told. Excuses you may have given. Things you held back. Opportunities you did let go and so on.
Now, Hold that for a moment and be real with yourself. Think about the secrets you kept and the cost you paid by keeping those secrets. Broken relationships? Less loving/less trustworthy bond? Always a state of fear and doubt? Inability to be the real “yourself”? Lost opportunities of something that could be incredible for you?
Keeping secrets requires work and costs us high. not just in the form of relationship but the whole of our happiness.
When we have secrets, we have pieces of ourselves that we must be “on guard” not to let slip out.
Keeping those parts hidden, uses a lot of our productive energy, resulting us having less energy available in other parts of our lives that could potentially be used. The more secrets we have, the more energy is required to keep those parts of ourselves hidden. With less energy available, our world becomes more and more constricted, affecting all the areas, even the ones that are not connected with this secret in any way what so ever. It’s as if a part of our lives blood drains away. We live in a smaller and smaller part of ourselves.
Remember Emily’s story we read in…. Grade 3 perhaps?
Emily was 8 years old. She lived in a big house, had a huge room, She had many toys and a lot of friends. But Emily was not happy. She had a secret which she did not want anyone to know.
The secret was that Emily didn’t write her homework. She lied that she was sick at the time of exams. She did not tell anyone, but the truth was that she could not read and write. Emily did not remember the letters of the alphabet.
One day, Emily’s teacher saw that Emily can’t write on the blackboard. She called her after class and asked her to tell the truth. Emily said, “It is true. I don’t know how to read and write”. The teacher listened to her. She wanted to help Emily. She told her, “That’s ok. You can read and write if we practice together”.
Emily and her teacher met every day after class. They practiced together. Emily worked hard. Now she knows how to read and write!
When I share my secrets with you, it brings us closer together. It creates a bond of intimacy that connects us at a deeper level. By knowing my secrets, you experience more of my humanity. I seem more “real” to you…more like you. As you connect to me more deeply, you’re more inclined to share your secrets with me and then we’re in relationship. We see more of who each other truly is. Our relationship becomes more honest and authentic.
Yes, you cannot share all your secrets with everyone, but you should not hide so many of them either as they make you unreal, drains your energy out and negatively impacts your entire life as well as personality.
Choose to share the secrets you’ve been guarding from ages – with people that matters to you. When you choose to be authentic and have intention of truly connecting with them, the secrets you’ve feared to open up could actually turn to be a strong thread, firmly tying your relationship together. The life can transform when you choose to trust them, reveal secrets to them, and listen their secrets without judgements and grudges.
So, go share your secrets, come out clean and transform your life!