They say that vengeance is a dish best serve cold, but sometimes its even as hot as a bowl of hot soup.
When everything you loved is stolen from you, sometimes all you have left is revenge.
“If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?”
Whether it’s a co-worker, a classmate, a family member, or even a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Regardless of the relationship/association, revenge is often an instinctive reaction when someone or something hurts/attacks the deepest, most fragile part of ourselves.
Setting them off, insulting them, Getting passive, turning nasty, making yourself wrong, putting them to justice, proving yourself and so on. With so many options available, Its so tough to decide where to start, how to actually take revenge that can give them the right lesson, and more importantly satisfy your inner soul.
I had a colleague in office who was so brilliant in his work. From developing applications to client communication, testing, documentation, research and what not. Everything that he had in his responsibility he would do so wonderfully and remarkably. Considering his skills and contribution, everyone at organization including myself used to trust him so much and provide him all the he demanded, financially, technically or otherwise. While everything was going so great for years, shit happened.
I somehow started observing that despite of providing great work, some of the old clients that I had were continuously refusing to work with me and told that they’re working with someone else instead. At first I found this quite normal as there definitely are other companies and organizations that are in competition and its always the choice of the clients whether or not to work with me/my company.
What I was wondering however was that there has been a lot of proprietary code and confidential details that we developed over the course of work with those clients, without which it was almost impossible for them to further continue the products. I noticed that their products were still progressing without they being bothered about obtaining proprietary and confidential details that we had. This stimulated me to investigate upon the matter and find out what could be the reason of this.
After some careful check of the logs and inquiring from secret sources in client’s organizations, I gathered that its this guy who I told was so brilliant been stealing the codes and providing work in lower rates than us while denigrating my company in the eyes of clients.
This was so fuming and earth-shattering for me to know as we all have trusted this guy so much and he’s been the part of the organization right from its difficult time. Many occasions I went out of my way to provide him that he needed and something of this sort from him was just totally unbelievable.
My blood immediately got in boiling temperature and I decided to set him off and teach him a lesson for what he did.
First, I fired him from organization and launched the case in court. I then contacted clients, explained them my point and somehow got them back to work with me.
I just did everything that I could to make sure that this guy gets a great lesson including publishing his criminal records online at various places, personally writing to all my contacts and associates and ensuring that they do not even accidently give him any job and also appointing a sort of private detective who was tracking every move of this guy and reporting to me so that I could make his life further difficult.
However, it started returning to me in greater intensity. The guy launched twice number of false cases against my organization than what I have launched, started leaking confidential details, threatening clients and so much more.
With this happening, I realised that the revenge was only hurting me and my organization in all the ways, including in terms of financials, reputation, trust and quality of work since a considerable time and resources were being wasted dealing with this guy.
I noticed that I had no peace of mind and a lot of current clients even who those were completed un-related to this whole incidence have started complaining that they’re not getting the expected quality of work.
At that point, I had 2 choices:
-Continue with the revenge as an attempt of setting him off and continue losing my peace, finances, resources and business
-Or, take unreasonable action, clean up the mess, end the revenge and restore the peace.
Just at that point I chose to drop all the cases, removed all the online complains and decided to even write him personally and telling sorry for whatever that he had to go through because of my obsession of taking revenge.
Some would tell that I got frightened and that I have submitted/given up myself to him, but to me I’ve done this because in my opinion, continuing the revenge was hurting and harming me more than the harms I was causing to him. Whatever happened had happened, whatever messed up had messed up and that was definitely not going to change by me taking the revenge, putting him to justice or teaching the lesson. Instead, I have been losing financials, client satisfaction and my own peace of mind continuously and gratuitously. To me this was not an act of losing power. It was in fact an attempt of gaining my powers back, restoring the peace of mind and getting back to my commitments for my organization.
Interestingly, magic happened!
The guy responded me with a sorry letter too, and dropped all the cases and whatever else that was being spread.
Almost all the mess that was created got clear instantly, case settled, clients came back and the organization has started focusing back to work.
I immediately noticed a great satisfaction, peace and pleasure that was missing all this period while my mind was busy taking the revenge.
Someone has said, “While seeking revenge, dig two graves – one for yourself.”. When you take the revenge, you keep the wound open that is sure to pain and hurt over and over again.
Here’s what to do when you have to powerfully take revenge on someone:
Get present to reality
Often what we think about what happened is the only reality that we perceive, but it may not necessarily bbe what the reality has actually been. Before attempting to take revenge, get present to the fact that you thinking that they’ve done wrong or betrayal can merely be your opinion and not necessarily the reality. Its possible that the other person thinks that he/she hasn’t done anything wrong, or perhaps the person even believes that its you who betrayed instead. Choose to authentically inquire yourself and get present to your inner thought process whether you’re sure what the person done is the reality or if its just your personal opinion.
Get out of the regrets
Its so easy and obvious at times to feel regrets about what you’ve done for them, working with them and loving them when you experience that the person has not treated you well.
Consider that what you done for the person, what you sacrificed and given is just a proof of how amazing you are. Its your awesomeness that you could love the person so much and so naturally regardless of what they returned. Its just so incredible that you could love them with complete authenticity still. Loving someone is the best thing one can do, don’t be guilty, be proud about it instead!
Learn to let it go
No matter how much wrong, hurtful, insulting, injustice and unfair you found it, whatever happened has happened and you just can’t change what the person has done, even if you set him off and take a hard revenge on him.
Instead, Get present to the cost that you’re paying by continuing the vengeance whether personally, financially or otherwise.
Someone wrote that the real revenge is to be genuinely happy. Stop withholding the grudges, forgive them and let go that has happened or you’re only allowing them to further secretly hurt you.
Accept and choose to love
Loving someone despite of whatever that he/she has done is the real greatness one can acquire. Once you drop your perceptions, get out of guilt and learn to let go that happened, what remains now is nothing but genuine, authentic and unselfish love that you can choose to do, not necessarily because they’re great but because you are.
Count the blessings that you got from your relationship, cherish the moments that you spent, love the person and keep on loving with no expectations and no regrets!
Difficult as it definitely is, I’ve tried the exact steps that I’ve written above and they work!
Choose to try, go with the flow and I’m sure you’ll be able to cause an unprecedented transformation for yourself!