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One tough cookie



Tired, hungry and already two hours late, I finally reached to the conference.

Reached at the backstage waiting room area, a girl greeted with smile.

She: “Welcome and thanks for joining, sir. I’ll let the co-ordinators know that you have arrived.  Your session will begin after the on-going one gets completed.  Do you need anything in the meanwhile”?

I’ve been working and travelling crazy and did not have any food particle from more than 24 hours. The throat was already choking and the belly was almost touching my back. However, having already arrived late, I just did not want to demand any food as that would sound even more of unprofessional as the organizers and audience have been waiting for my session for long.

I’ve been really wondering how would I be able to deliver in the famished state, but I definitely did not want to sound pesky.


Waiting for my session to begin still, the girl came again in a few minutes.



She:  “Sir, It’ll take a few more minutes for your session to begin. You might be tired. Let me get some coffee and a few cookies for you”


Wow!  Her words sounded like magic in the ears

I could even eat the hoarse and she was offering cookies. Man, I wanted to hug, shout out and thank her loudly, but I composed myself. (I was going to be a speaker after all).

Me: “Sure!”.


The girl got back in a few minutes.

She: “Sir, I’m really sorry. The coffee is over, but I could find out these two cookies for you. I really apologise, I could get only two as the tea time was over. Please have these” (Offering the plate to me).

She:  “Please enjoy the cookies sir, I’ll be back in a few minutes and let you know when your session has to begin”


So I had two cookies in front of me and they’ve been smelling bloody amazing. Decorated with nuts, chocolates and coco powder, they’ve been looking just so pretty as well.

So nice that I looked and smelled them for a moment and the mouth filled up with water of cravings.


So I lifted the first one out of two that I’ve had on my plate and finally took it to mouth, on to my teeth to have a bite.

Oh, but I could not just bite it, despite of putting pressure. It was a real tough cookie, man.

I tried again, this time with more pressure and efforts, but it did not really crumble, not a bite of it either.

This was interesting. Wonder what was used while making, but the cookie was tough like it was made of iron, wasn’t being broken despite of several of my attempts

This was unbelievable! Cookie that’s so very pretty, decorated and smells so nice, how could it be just this tough?

Having tried several times and had no success, I chose to keep that in the plate and eat the other one that I’ve got, hoping that this one won’t be this iron-made.


This wasn’t decorated and not looking as pretty as the other one was.

However, I had no option, so I lifted it, took towards my mouth and teeth and gave it a bite.

Oh and soon as I had my teeth over the cookie, this one just melted under my mouth, tasting so amazing (Butter, chocolate and nuts).


Soon as I was about to get over with it, the girl came again.

She: “Sir, your session will be starting in the next 5 minutes. Please be ready”.

While going for the session, I had to leave the tough cookie in the plate as I couldn’t just break it, despite of several attempts that went un-successful.


I’ve been thinking about this incidence, and while this is such an ordinary thing that perhaps happens with a lot of us (Cookies are tough sometimes), here’s the thing:

A lot of us, in our lives as well are tough cookies – stubborn, adamant and self-obsessed. We do not share our lives with others, do not care our own feelings and emotions such as love, anger or grief and do not ask for help (We think that we’re independent, and even if it’s difficult, we’ll find out at our own).

Cultures, societies, beliefs and situations taught us that we should keep everything to ourselves, be independent and should ask help only if it’s really necessary.

Some of us had to experience betrayals, breakdowns and ditches, so strong that we’ve deliberately decided not to feel any anger, love and sadness and not to ever open up with people about our lives, experiences, feelings and emotions.


Merely On the name of being “strong”, “self-dependent” and “smart”, Some of us think we’re always supposed to do everything  alone. Be tough. Suck it up.

What we overlook is that by doing so, all that we’re doing is that we’re hiding the real personality – who we really are. We’re wearing a mask of stiffness because we’re scared of being known, revealed and understood.  We have the fear that this might lead us to heartbreak, hurt and disappointment.

What we overlook during this process however is the fact that if people like – or better yet, love – us, they want to be a significant and important part of our lives. They actually pay attention to what’s happening with us, note when we’re ‘off’ or might need support or help.  And, they jump at the chance to be there for us.

Caring colleagues, friends and family members may try this repeatedly. But the time will soon come when they give up.

And, why not?

Who wants to keep caring about and offering love, affection and help to someone who continually refuses to accept it.  Better to move onto others who welcome their involvement and appreciate their care, affection, love and support.


That’s the dangerous, probably undesired downside of being one tough cookie.

Eventually, people just stop caring and you start being alone to lonely.


Opposite to what we’ve learned, taught, spoonfeeded, believed and experienced, the key to a powerful and fully satisfying life is to be what you really are, to be authentic and vulnerable.

Even if you’ve been hurt, broken, betrayed, wronged and disappointed previously, closing the doors to the opportunities are only going to make it more difficult and lonely for you, sooner or later.

Only when you choose to be authentic and vulnerable, the doors of opportunities opens up. Yes the possibilities of getting hurts, heartbreaks, disillusions and disappointments arise when you choose to be real, authentic and vulnerable, But without allowing ourselves

To be vulnerable we can’t experience the joy and rapture of life, we can’t be our authentic selves and we can’t be human, because to be human is to be



Those who lost one battle can win only when they choose to go in the battle ground again. Scaring, restricting and keeping away from the battle ground will always keep them loser, no matter what.

As stated by author Stephen Russel:

Vulnerability is the only authentic state.  Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure.  Being open to the wounds of life means

Also being open to the bounty and beauty.


Its crucial to ponder upon. No matter how much of fame, recognition, money and worldly success that you’ve got, the real happiness comes from loving relationships, freedom and full self expression.

Not even the greatest success in the world would ever look significant if you do not have people to cherish and celebrate it.

Be it a love proposal that you’re refusing over and again, project that you’re holding for the help you did not want to take, or the risk you’re refusing to go for.

It’s definitely better to be fully getting yourself that you are and prepared to be broken now than lamenting and regretting later.


They say that tough cookies do not crumble, but the truth is that without being ready and prepared to be crumbled, the cookie gets alone, like the one I had to leave. Only the cookies that are ready to be crumbled and go with the flow receives actual pleasures and gives the pleasure that they have been meant for.

Don’t be one tough cookie that you are left alone.

Be yourself, express freely, choose freely, be authentic,  be vulnerable and go with the flow, the transformation with  a powerful life that you love awaits to embrace you.




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