Last week, I met this friend of mine and got amazed, shocked and baffled looking at him.
This long time college friend has always been fatso and was in fact famous as “buffarilla” across college (quite a slang though). He has always been mocked about his body size but Despite of everything that he tried over the years including diet charts, Jims, exercise patterns, health medicines and whatever not, I’ve always seen him the same, whelaphant shape ever since.
This time, when I saw him, it was insanely unbelievable! He’s reduced a Wapping 23 KG in just about 3 months since I last met him! Gosh, he was literally unidentifiable!
I was wondering what could just happen that he reduced this much of weight suddenly while it wasn’t happening all these years since I knew him. He wasn’t looking ill either. In fact he’s been very happy and accomplished by reducing this amount of weight. Only a miracle could make this happen, I thought.
“I’m doing everything right, and I still can’t lose weight!”
Have you ever heard someone say that? (Have you ever said it yourself?)
It’s such a common complain, and a frustrating one, too. Lots of these people are truly doing everything they know to do – eating salads, cutting out sugary sodas, working out in jim, exercising. They’re working HARD. And yet… the scale doesn’t budge.
Many people work so hard in office, 16 hours a day, 100 hours per week, and yet the promotion does not happen.
So many entrepreneurs put all of their time, energy, money, focus and after years of buckling down, they still find it almost same, a little bit different, a little more worst.
I meet a lot of students preparing for competitive exams such as TOEFL/GMAT ETC, and most tell that for whatever reason, they’re not getting success despite of studying hard, taking coaching and just doing whatever else that they can.
From matrimonial search of finding the suitable boy, to trying to sell a property on high price. You know that you’re making so much efforts, you told everyone and their mothers, got it advertised, you’re even receiving offers but its just not working somehow.
So what’s getting wrong?
Nothing’s getting wrong, perhaps, but here are 7 proven and experimented reasons why you’re not succeeding despite of hardwork and efforts.
1. You haven’t defined success:
So Many people are living their neighbours’ lives. Many of us are building our futures based on a definition of success sold to us by parents, friends, society and even media. That’s fine if you’re consciously choosing to live by those values. But what if – at truth – you have a different set of values?
I know a lot of students who are doing what they’re doing because of pressure from parents or friends . So many people are in weight loss game not because they’re so keen to reduce the weight, but because they’re told by family, friends and media that only those with slim physique are great, rest all are non-worthy. Many are chasing money because their neighbour has so much and they’re comparing themselves to them.
What success means is different to everyone and must always be aligned with your value, not pressures, comparisons and advertisements.
Success comes in many different forms and your concept of being a success might not be the same as mine.
Money, power, fame, health, beauty, recognition, creativity, fun. Whatever that it is. What are the things that are truly, most important to you? What makes you deeply satisfied, excited and pumped when you get it?
Is what you’re doing aligned with your values and definition of success?
Its possible that you do not even know what success means to you on the first place. How would you achieve it at all in that case?
2. You do not have clarity:
“A lack of clarity could put the brakes on any journey to success.”
Sometimes, you know what your definition of success is, you’re even doing everything to achieve that, but there’s no clear vision of what, exactly you want.
Ok, you want money, but how much? What will you do with the money that you’re going to get?
You’re working to reduce weight. Awesome, how much weight you want to reduce? What difference it’ll make in your life once you reduced it?
Not having clarity about what you need is like travelling in a bus without knowing your destination. Even if you’re excited to be seated in the bus, you won’t just know whether this is the bus you needed to board and where, exactly you’d like to get down.
Chances are that you are not succeeding because you don’t know what exactly do you need, when do you need it, in what form/size/feel it’ll be.
“Clarity is the most important thing. I can compare clarity to pruning in gardening. You know, you need to be clear. If you are not clear, nothing is going to happen. You have to be clear. Then you have to be confident about your vision. And after that, you just have to put a lot of work in.”
-Diane von Furstenberg.
3. You don’t have Interest and purpose:
“I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, “Aw shit, he’s up!”
I know so many people, who, when get up, spend first few minutes in cursing their present, criticising their past and crying over their speculation about what might happen in future. Do you think that can lead you to any success path? I don’t think so.
Does what you do excite you deeply?
When you get up and get to work, your goals need to be exciting enough that they make you spellbound and incredibly energetic.
If that isn’t happening, you simply can’t succeed.
4. You do not have Consistency:
Doing something once or twice—even when putting forth enormous effort—is usually not enough to yield results. But when you’re consistent, more often than
Not, you’ll see the fruits of your labour come to fruition.
Eating one healthy meal or doing one killer workout won’t lead to the physique of your dreams.
No matter what your goals may be, being consistent is the key to achieving them. There’s simply no way around it.
“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hardwork leads to success. Greatness will come.”
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
5. You do not measure:
As its famously said, what gets measured, gets managed.
Imagine a life without numbers, time and distance. Say a world without a way to quantify things. Then, you would have not known how much money you got, it would be nearly impossible to be punctual
, sports like swimming or long jump would be pointless without a precise measure of time or distance.
We would have no way of knowing how many people liked our facebook posts, how many grams of fat were in the cake we just ate, or how few hours we slept last night.
Its important to know “how much” and “how far” so that you can understand and determine whether you’re in appropriate direction, how close or far are you from your goals and what, in terms of quantifiable units is required to achieve that you want to.
Be it the hours of your daily schedules, finances, timelines, number of leads, number of clients, sales, conversion metrics, expenses, profits, losses or forecasts.
If you’re not measuring on daily/regular basis, you would not come to know what’s happening and what is to be done next.
6. You’re working too hard:
While there is so much motivational cliché such as
The early bird gets the worm, hardwork pays off, be the first to arrive in the office and the last to leave,
Excessive, extreme and tiresome work is certainly negatively affecting your energy, enthusiasm, excitement, health, productivity and even friends, family, fun and food at times.
“I’m a workaholic, so I ignore the signs of fatigue and just keep going and going, and then conk out when I get home. It can be pretty stressful.”
If you’re not taking appropriate breaks and vacations, time out for friends and family and time for yourself, success is far, far ahead from you. I bet you’re going to drain yourself well before you even reach close to achieving your goals.
7. You’re not failing:
“Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.”
– Robert T. Kiyosaki.
Many of us avoid the prospects of failure. We’re so focused on not failing that we don’t aim for success, settling instead for a life of mediocrity.
Think about it. How many projects you’ve not begun because you had a fear of failing. How many investments that were looking amazingly profitable were not started because you had the fear of losing. How many times you settled up on your job despite of resentments because you did not have courage to be fired and start something else.
Failure is necessary to shake things up. Otherwise, we would coast along comfortably but we wouldn’t make any quantum leaps.
If you’re not risking that you have in your life,, not being vulnerable to be failed, you’re simply not succeeding, never.
Depending on your current situation, all 7 or at least any one of the above points are true in your case that is stopping you from being successful. You can let it be and continue living a not-failed, never-succeed life or you can choose to take a leap to remarkably transform yourself and your situation. The power lies with you. Its not about what you used to be, but it matters what you choose to be.
Find that’s missing, Take the plunge and you have this chance to transform your biggest failures into historical success!